The Healer Who Doesn’t Heal

I’ve always been skeptical of healers.  Maybe because I am one myself.  I don’t think anyone can heal someone else.  It comes from within, when that person is ready.

Just to clarify, let’s talk about what healing is, since it means different things to different people.  Generally speaking, healing is the journey towards wholeness.  You can call it true health, higher-awareness, or living your highest-self.  Authenticity, emotional intelligence, strong relationships and effective communication are all part of the healing journey.

What I’ve come to value for healing is the practice of non-interference.  This might sound strange for someone who is in the business of healing, but what I often see is that the universe is constantly conspiring for our inner-growth.  So often I have seen people who really struggle, and in this struggle something beautiful is happening.  They are coming to terms on their own, through their own realization and experience, the power of who they are. Whether this experience comes through a book, another person, doesn’t matter. When a person is ready to expand and shift, it happens naturally.

By trusting in people’s life experience and struggles, and by choosing not to interfere with their process, many people come to deeper understanding and realization than if someone were to just lay their hands on them, or “tell them” what to do. While every situation is unique, I’ve noticed that experience through self-realization is powerful. There is a quote that says something to the extent of “we shall not deny someone the privilege of his own suffering.”  The dark stuff – that is where the beauty of one’s light can come through.  Sometimes people need to hit rock bottom before they can find a way to come back up. Bottom line, they need to help themselves and feel worthy of being healthy and whole.  And that all comes from within.

The labyrinth is symbolic of the healing process. There are twists and turns, and it seems you are moving backwards when you are really moving forward. It is the journey towards center, the journey back to self.
Photo by http:///www.dashagaian.com.

Can you want for someone else’s healing?

You can, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll heal.  Over time I’ve discovered that detachment is the most important aspect of healing.  You cannot be invested in the outcome of someone else’s healing.  If you’re a healer, and you’re wondering if you gave someone a good healing, then your ego invested.  You are setting yourself up for disappointment because now your well-being is tied to another’s.  As a healer, you can be of service, but you cannot make someone else heal or grow.   You can be fully present for someone, but ultimately, you’re not responsible for someone else’s healing process.  It doesn’t matter if it’s our friends, clients or the world around us.  When we move from a place of “this needs to be better” “this needs to be.. such and such,” even the attachment to “this needs to be healthy”, it’s something to look at and see where your need is coming from.  What is your angst in this matter?  Where is the idea of betterment coming from?

Of course we want people to feel good, but we cannot insist.  Healing is not pushing.  It doesn’t interfere unnecessarily. It is a space of allowance and deep trust. Being open without judgment or attachment.  It is a surrendering process by bearing witness to other people’s pain without taking it on. Healing can be elusive, because there is no feeling of doing – only being.  There is also balance in healing.  We can introduce new ideas and ways of being, such as tools of self-awareness.  We can invite others to ways of authentic empowerment and sustainability.  We can invite this through the joy of who we are, rather than diminish or change what should not be.

No matter how well-intended we are, we cannot try to control or manage the experience of others. This feeling of wanting others to be happy is deeply ingrained in some of us, and this need can at times be subtle, and not necessarily empowering for the people around us.  We can be happy, but we cannot invest our happiness in other people’s happiness. We are each powerful in our own right. We each have the power to tap into this space of unlimited healing and knowing. While we are interconnected, we are not responsible for the feelings and experiences of others. We can only be ourselves and live our truth.  We are really only responsible for our own experience in life.

Simply living joy can be the most healing for ourselves and as a by product, naturally healing for others.  When we can remember this, healing happens without effort or thought.

About the Author: Sura
By Sura

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