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How To Deal With Negativity

This is a big year for cleansing and healing.  As more people become self-aware, and their stuff comes up,  alot of negative emotions and energy can rise to the surface.  At times we are negative and other times we are on the receiving end of negativity.  Where does it come from?  And what’s the best way to deal with it?

Let’s look at the way negative energy flows.  Usually negativity wants a place to go.  Think of a boss who yells at her employee and then the employee who absorbs negative energy from work and then releases unto his family.  This is the way negativity tends to travel, like a virus, from one place to another.  People transfer and channel energy – and fortunately, there is something we can do to transmute negativity in the moment.

Here are a few suggestions:

1)    Choose to understand.  People who are negative are suffering inside.  Negativity is often the result of pent-up anger, sadness and other unfelt emotions.  Looking past the negativity and choosing to see the source of someone’s behavior will automatically begin to transform negative energy.  Many people are simply seeking that moment of acknowledgement.  Practicing detached compassion can help alleviate pain and suffering for yourself and others.

2)    Notice the way you respond to negative energy.  When someone throws an arrow of a comment your way, how do you respond?  Do you feel attacked?  The WAY you respond to negativity will SHIFT the energy.  Negativity is used to resistance and reaction.  If you give negativity space, it allows it to breathe and shift.  By pausing and responding from a centered place, it allows you or the other person to be aware of the negativity and release it.

3)    Let someone OWN their own negativity.  We are not here to make every situation better.   There is no need to fix and change people.   When someone is negative, sometimes just letting them own their stuff and have their negativity is the best way for it to transform.

4)    Choose not to take it on.  Don’t take the hook when someone spews negativity your way.   The first response for most people, myself included, is to take it personally.   Like an Aikido master, you have the power to release negativity from your space like water off a duck’s back.  Be conscious about not taking on the energy,  just watch it flow by you and notice what happens.  By simply being aware without judgement,  it provides the opportunity for the energy to shift.

5)   ShapeShift Your Perspective.  The idea of “negativity” is often a 2 way street.  You are receiving it and experiencing it – is it outside you or within you?   Choosing to be detached and neutral, you can choose to take a spiritual approach.  Ask yourself:  What is the lesson in experiencing this right now?  What would allow me to shift this situation in an empowered way?  What does this “perceived” negativity represent in my life?

6)  Forgive.  I don’t believe you really need to know “how” to forgive.  Simply begin with the intention of forgiveness right away and notice what happens.  Forgive yourself for feeling bad about what happened, and whoever is involved.  Almost ALL negativity simply comes from misunderstanding and miscommunication.  RARELY is there true mal-intent.

How present can you be in the face of negativity?  For yourself for others?  The more presence you bring through non-judgment and compassion, the more opportunity you allow for negativity to shift and transform.

Pause, breathe and be aware.  Practice compassionate aikido.


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