I admit, I like glitter, lip gloss & things with wings. But when it comes to coaching, I keep it real. I do what I can to tell the truth with love. And what I’ve found peculiar over years of coaching, is that when it comes to people’s life goals & fears, many people live in fantasy land.
Example #1: When I have enough ______ or get _______ , I will start living my dream and do what I want.
You can fill in the blanks with money, partner, time, but you’re still left with an idea or fantasy that needs to be fulfilled in order to do what you truly want. Many people wait till they have enough money to live their dream, or when the world is situated perfectly around them so that it feels safe to do what they want. “When I have something, my life will be good and secure enough to live fully.”
The truth is: There is no perfect time or set of conditions to start living exactly the way you want. There is no condition or destination for happiness. The grass is green right NOW. It’s as green as it gets! It doesn’t get greener.
Often times, when people start doing what they want, that’s when they get what they want. People who take risk and have the courage to do what they love will often discover that the world will meet them half way. This can happen through unexpected help or synchronicity. Do what feels right. Trust yourself and trust that you will be supported in what you love. Don’t get stuck in the fantasy of the mind. Take action, even if it’s just a little.
What do you want? What are you waiting to happen?
Example #2: If I take a big risk, I could end up homeless and poor.
It’s an extreme, but it follows the gist: if I don’t succeed, bad things will happen. People often have imagined fears about failure that are completely ungrounded in reality. I have coached CEO’s who have made serious money and have fears of poverty running in their mind! Somehow, people tend to attach themselves to worst case scenarios, things that have never happened in their life. Even worse, people do not take the time to closely examine their true, deep-seated fear. Instead, they live unconsciously in fear and let the power of their unknown fears live their life.
The truth is: People who succeed do not just overcome their fears, they move forward with their fear. In doing so, their fears no longer have power over them. The more we expand, the more fearless and free we become.
I was so scared of my fears, I couldn’t even look at them! But what I discovered is that it’s possible to dispel fear by simply looking at it and naming it. “Oh, that’s it?” Then I usually start to laugh to myself. 😛
What are you most afraid of? Is it a real possibility?
Is it that bad?
Are you going to die?
Many fears are an imagined reality, basically a fantasy, so is expecting to win the lottery and having a free ticket to really live life. I’m not knocking fantasy by any means. I am saying wake-up and look at what’s really motivating you.
Is it your love, is it your fear .. or is it fantasy??
“If not now, when?”